“Strange how mean words can return to one’s thoughts years after they’ve been callously thrown at you. They replay in your mind, spiking a sense of remembered pain. Nasty name calling can be an ugly memory that stabs unexpectedly—not unlike a nightmare where you wake up crying.”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can’t really hurt me” This is a sentence often said by many in defense to what people might say against them or even about them, but the same people go back home and cry themselves to sleep due to the words that pierce through their hearts.
Honestly, I’d rather endure the pain of sticks and stones than that caused by words, because that sticks forever. Often we tend not to censor what we say in the name of being “real” but what we should do first, is place ourselves in the recipient’s shoes. I can attest to the fact that at times, people (especially those close to us) say negative things, which keep ringing in our heads and affect how we behave, how we react to situations and our perception of those in our lives.
As the receiver of such, you need to learn how to block out the negativity and instead take in the constructive criticism, and build on that. However, I know this is easier said than done, but remember there is always something constructive in whatever negative thing one might say no matter how little.
Here are some of the ways that you can use block out the negativity:
1. Pray: It doesn’t matter what you believe in, but looking up to your creator, or even inner self, helps a lot in this situation. Pray and let yourself get to a “woosah” situation. (A bit more content like the benefits accrued from it or rather how it helps) Be still and calm. It’s not every situation that you must react to. (Feels like a point on it’s own)
2. Listen to understand, not to reply: I love saying this a lot because at the heat of the moment one’s anger, frustrations and annoyance, we rarely listen to understand. We listen to reply and defend ourselves. We often get hurt not because some people actually mean to hurt us, but because of the fact that we misunderstand words and phrases which might sound wrong to us.
3. Do not let your emotions overpower you: Do not let anyone have so much power over you, that they trigger anger from you! Do not let anyone trigger a reaction from you, like I said in point one, be still!
When trying to pass a certain message/opinion/advice, we always have to be careful with how we convey messages. As I have previously mentioned, you don’t necessarily need to change a message but work on how you convey it. Politeness goes a long way, and remember there is a very thin line between rudeness and realness. If you do not know how to differentiate the two, then stick to being polite. In fact, the beauty of being real is the ability to stay polite and still being as real and honest as possible.
If you sit and wonder why everyone and everything in your life is not working, do not be too quick to point a finger at the world and forget that four fingers are pointing back at you! The more people you hurt by your foul mouth, the more people distance themselves from you. Nobody wants to constantly be in distress because of the words that come out of your mouth.
If you are of such character, there are ways to tone down:
1. Think before you speak: Is what you are about to say, and the way you’ve thought of saying it more of a disadvantage than it is an advantage, then keep it to yourself, or rephrase your words.
2. Mind who you are speaking to: Sometimes we forget that our manner of speech should be different depending on who we speak to. How you speak to your husband/wife, should not be how you handle your parents and that should be far from how to talk to your children. Once you understand this, then you will be able to convey your messages appropriately according to the situation and the person present.
3. Pray and ask for wisdom: Again, no matter what your belief is, seek first wisdom from above and/or from within. Wisdom will make you take into consideration the other person and it will make you realize that they also are human, they also feel and they are capable of hurt as well.
To all our readers, make sure that, you do not let anyone have so much power over you that their words linger in your mind and pierce your heart over and over again. Remember to be still and calm. Always keep in mind that your words have the power to break and make, do not hurt those around you or else you will eventually become an island.
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From us, with love,